Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
