yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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