I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
