her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
