party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
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