just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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