yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
