Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Everyone says I win the strip club
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
