420 ftw
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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