How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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