The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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