i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
