Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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