I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
