He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
