youre lurking in front of me
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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