Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You're like the curious george of whores
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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