problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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