He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
