found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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