Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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