I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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