After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
your like the ambassador to my penis.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
