even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
