If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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