My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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