i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
