Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
