Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
