Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
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I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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