ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
