Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize
