tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
