I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Randomize
