so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
