READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
