sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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