So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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