am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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