Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
