drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
