There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
