party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
