just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
