weddingsv make me drug and hornr
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
