i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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