She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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