So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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