were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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