That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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