My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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