i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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