I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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