i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
