Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
