So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
