I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
