You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
